Gendered Verbal Communication

            In chapter 5, Gendered Verbal Communication, in the book Gendered Lives Communication, Gender, and Culture by Julia Wood, Wood discusses the differences between masculine and feminine communication. Wood starts with the discussion of male generic language; in which society uses words that are suppose to refer to both men and women but literally only refer to men. Male generic language only contributes to how our society is living in “male’s world”. Meaning that our society is dominated by white, educated, males and women are considered subordinate. Wood goes on to talk about how language can differently define men and women. In today’s society, women are often defined by their appearance and relationships with others. Whereas men are defined by their activities and accomplishments. Wood gives us an example of these gender differences in the sports community. In women’s sports there is more attention towards how a woman athlete looks and not normally recognized for her skills. On the other hand men are known for their athletic skills. Society is very concerned with how women look at all times and also are often criticized for what they are wearing. Wood also points out that women are expected to marry a man and have children while men are expected to work and support their families. This expectation of marriage shows the importance of women’s relationship with others. Women who do not marry a man are often pitied and questioned for their actions. There is a major emphasize on marriage for women but not for men.

            Wood goes on to discuss how language is used to shape meanings within our culture. Society tends to stereotype men and women. For example women are normally seen as emotional and weak, while men are seen as dominant and strong. These stereotypes are assumed for all men and women and can sometimes misrepresent certain men and women. Wood says, “Women who use assertive speech are frequently described as rude or bitchy. Whereas men who employ emotional language may be described to be wimps or weak” (Wood 107). When men and women break the social norms of their gender, they tend to be questioned and criticized. This leads to men not expressing their emotions because they do not want to be seen as weak. This can also lead to women not expressing their opinions because they do not want their opinion to be dismissed by society. Wood argues that our society needs a “range” to express our sex, gender, and sexual orientations. Men and women express their gender in a range of different ways and should not be constricted to binary terms.

            Wood goes on to talk about how language allows us to reflect on ourselves.  Language is used as a tool to express our inner thoughts with an outside world. In our society there are certain expectations that come with being male or female. As a community, we normally compare ourselves to celebrities and desire to look like them. Wood says, “According to Michael Rich (2008) Director of the Center on Media and Child Health, ‘exposure to body ideals of impossibly thin women and unrealistically muscular men can contribute to negative self-images and viewers’ attempts to alter their bodies through restrictive eating, exercise, or drugs or surgery’” (Wood 109). Society expects men and women to look a specific way. Society has created a specific definition of beauty in which all men and women want to achieve. In order to achieve this ideal image of beauty men and women may use unhealthy habits in order to obtain this image of beauty. Wood ends the chapter with specific differences of communication between men and women. Men and women tend to express their genders through language and communication with others. Women tend to have a need to connect and show emotions in order to show their support for others. While men express their control, assertiveness, and independence when they communicate with others. Men and women need to understand the differences between masculine and feminine communication in order to create better communication paths between each other.

            I really enjoyed reading this chapter; I think Wood did a great job explaining the differences of communication between men and women. I also strongly agreed with Wood when she discussed how women who are sexually active are referred to as a slut while men who are sexually active are referred to as a stud. I do not understand why women are criticized for being sexually active while men are celebrated for their sexual activity. Both men and women should not be questioned for their sexual activity. I think this is especially relevant to the St. Lawrence community. Young women who participate in the hook up culture on campus are normally harshly critiqued. I think it is unhealthy for society to judge women who are sexually active. I think that both men and women should be celebrated for expressing their sexual desires.

            In the beginning of the chapter, Wood talks about the emphasize of marriage that is placed on women and how women are expected to marry a man and for that man to support them and their family. Wood also talks about how in our society women tend to take men’s last names when they are married. Why is it that women take male’s last names? Where did this social norm come from and why are women critiqued when they do not take their husband’s last name?