Gendered Nonverbal Communication

            In chapter 6 of Gendered Lives: Communication, Gender and Culture, Julia Wood discusses the importance of gendered nonverbal communication. Wood talks about artifacts and how people use artifacts in order to express their own identity. Wood uses three artifacts that express different definitions of femininity and masculinity. The first one being toys that young boys and girls use everyday. Wood points out that there are major differences between male and female toys, which could potentially lead to young children defining their gender in a certain way because of societal norms. Boys are more likely to receive toys that encourage rough and active play. Boys tend to play with cars, planes, swords, and building sets. While girls are more likely to receive toys that revolve around domestic activities and motherly jobs. Girls normally play with kitchen sets, baby dolls, make up, or dress up outfits. Wood’s research led to some conclusions, “…(1) Toys are sex-segregated—different aisles for girls’ and boys’ toys; (2) the boys’ section features action toys (Spider-Man, NEO-Shifters), whereas girls’ sections features toys that involve fashion (wigs and make up), taking care of homes (toy vacuums), and nurturing (dolls), and (3) toys for boys usually come in darker, bolder colors then do toys for girls” (Wood 126). Wood explains that these differences in boys’ and girls’ toys can effect how a young child grows up. Boys and girls learn to understand the differences between males and females because of toys they play. Young boys and girls learn to act a certain way in order to express their biological gender. It would be abnormal to see a boy playing with a kitchen set because a kitchen set is “suppose” to be for girls and expresses the ideals of femininity. Kids who break these social norms of gender are normally criticized and questioned by their peers.

            Wood goes on to talk about the differences between men and women’s clothing and how clothing is another form of nonverbal communication society uses in order to communicate gender identity. Men’s clothing tends to be more useful and functional. Men’s pants and jackets normally have big pockets so they can carry their wallet, keys, phone etc. Male clothing also tends to have a looser fit allowing for more movement and activity. Furthermore men’s shoes are designed to let men more quickly and efficiently. Overall men’s clothing normally focuses on allowing males to be active. Women’s clothing is very different from men’s clothing. Clothing that women wear normally is tightly fitted and shows off a woman’s body. In our society, there is a major focus on a woman’s appearance and body. Women are constantly being criticized for their looks and clothing. Women’s clothing really encourages women to show off their femininity and sexuality. With little to no pockets women normally need purses in order to carry their wallets, keys, phones, etc. Lastly, women’s shoes are normally uncomfortable and hard to walk in. These differences between men and women’s clothing further separates males and females.

            Wood also discusses another artifact that society uses in order to nonverbally express gender. Advertisements communicate gendered values and norms seen throughout our culture. Wood says, “Advertisements for food, homemaking, and child rearing feature women, reiterating the view of women as homemakers and mothers…” (Wood 128). Women are normally seen as mothers and homemakers; advertisements encourage women to stay at home and take care of their children. Wood also says, “Products associated with heavy work, cars, and outdoor sports feature men, underlining the assumption that men are strong and daring” (Wood 128). Male advertisements promote the typical male dominance ideal that males have power and control over women. Men and women are expected to act a certain way because of cultural norms. Children’s toys, clothing, and advertisements all encourage these social norms and make it difficult for people to challenge the ideals of femininity and masculinity. Wood understands these artifacts to be a nonverbal form of communication to express gender identity.

            I thought this chapter was really interesting and did a good job explaining how men and women express their gender identity differently. I believe that the idea of gender identities is not natural and that it has been created by our own society.  I also think it is really important that our society learns to accept a range of different definitions of gender. There is not only one-way to be masculine or feminine; people should be able to express their definition of gender comfortably. I think that advertisements and media have created a certain norm of gender that some people feel the need follow. For example there are thousands of magazines that portray women who are young, skinny, and beautiful. Magazine photos have led young girls feel a certain pressure to look a certain way and to compete with others. Society and media have created a specific definition of beauty. Young women are participating in unhealthy ways of living in order to be society’s definition of “beautiful”. Some women believe that in order to be pretty they need to be a size 0 with perfect skin and a bikini ready body. I think society and our generation needs to understand that there are many different forms of beauty and that there is not just one way to look beautiful.

            These traditional gender codes are seen throughout our society. I think there are some consequences to our societal social norms of gender. Certain men and women may feel trapped within this tradition and may be afraid to break social norms in order to express their true gender. I think it would be interesting to ask the class if they have ever felt the need to look or act a certain way because of how media and advertisements portray men and women.

Gendered Verbal Communication

            In chapter 5, Gendered Verbal Communication, in the book Gendered Lives Communication, Gender, and Culture by Julia Wood, Wood discusses the differences between masculine and feminine communication. Wood starts with the discussion of male generic language; in which society uses words that are suppose to refer to both men and women but literally only refer to men. Male generic language only contributes to how our society is living in “male’s world”. Meaning that our society is dominated by white, educated, males and women are considered subordinate. Wood goes on to talk about how language can differently define men and women. In today’s society, women are often defined by their appearance and relationships with others. Whereas men are defined by their activities and accomplishments. Wood gives us an example of these gender differences in the sports community. In women’s sports there is more attention towards how a woman athlete looks and not normally recognized for her skills. On the other hand men are known for their athletic skills. Society is very concerned with how women look at all times and also are often criticized for what they are wearing. Wood also points out that women are expected to marry a man and have children while men are expected to work and support their families. This expectation of marriage shows the importance of women’s relationship with others. Women who do not marry a man are often pitied and questioned for their actions. There is a major emphasize on marriage for women but not for men.

            Wood goes on to discuss how language is used to shape meanings within our culture. Society tends to stereotype men and women. For example women are normally seen as emotional and weak, while men are seen as dominant and strong. These stereotypes are assumed for all men and women and can sometimes misrepresent certain men and women. Wood says, “Women who use assertive speech are frequently described as rude or bitchy. Whereas men who employ emotional language may be described to be wimps or weak” (Wood 107). When men and women break the social norms of their gender, they tend to be questioned and criticized. This leads to men not expressing their emotions because they do not want to be seen as weak. This can also lead to women not expressing their opinions because they do not want their opinion to be dismissed by society. Wood argues that our society needs a “range” to express our sex, gender, and sexual orientations. Men and women express their gender in a range of different ways and should not be constricted to binary terms.

            Wood goes on to talk about how language allows us to reflect on ourselves.  Language is used as a tool to express our inner thoughts with an outside world. In our society there are certain expectations that come with being male or female. As a community, we normally compare ourselves to celebrities and desire to look like them. Wood says, “According to Michael Rich (2008) Director of the Center on Media and Child Health, ‘exposure to body ideals of impossibly thin women and unrealistically muscular men can contribute to negative self-images and viewers’ attempts to alter their bodies through restrictive eating, exercise, or drugs or surgery’” (Wood 109). Society expects men and women to look a specific way. Society has created a specific definition of beauty in which all men and women want to achieve. In order to achieve this ideal image of beauty men and women may use unhealthy habits in order to obtain this image of beauty. Wood ends the chapter with specific differences of communication between men and women. Men and women tend to express their genders through language and communication with others. Women tend to have a need to connect and show emotions in order to show their support for others. While men express their control, assertiveness, and independence when they communicate with others. Men and women need to understand the differences between masculine and feminine communication in order to create better communication paths between each other.

            I really enjoyed reading this chapter; I think Wood did a great job explaining the differences of communication between men and women. I also strongly agreed with Wood when she discussed how women who are sexually active are referred to as a slut while men who are sexually active are referred to as a stud. I do not understand why women are criticized for being sexually active while men are celebrated for their sexual activity. Both men and women should not be questioned for their sexual activity. I think this is especially relevant to the St. Lawrence community. Young women who participate in the hook up culture on campus are normally harshly critiqued. I think it is unhealthy for society to judge women who are sexually active. I think that both men and women should be celebrated for expressing their sexual desires.

            In the beginning of the chapter, Wood talks about the emphasize of marriage that is placed on women and how women are expected to marry a man and for that man to support them and their family. Wood also talks about how in our society women tend to take men’s last names when they are married. Why is it that women take male’s last names? Where did this social norm come from and why are women critiqued when they do not take their husband’s last name?

Questioning our Patriarchal System

            In the article Patriarchy, The System by Allan G Johnson, Johnson discusses the system of patriarchy that is present throughout the world and more specifically the United States. Johnson talks about how men and women do not want to accept that a patriarchy system exists in our society, mainly because they do not want to face the consequences that come with this system. In today’s society we live in a “man’s world”. Meaning that white, educated males dominate our society. There is race, gender and class oppression. Race oppression exists because some white males do not want to accept people of different ethnic backgrounds. Gender oppression exists because some men believe that women should stay at home and take care of the children instead of joining the work force with men. Lastly class oppression exists because people in the upper class are “greedy” and believe that people need to work hard for success. Johnson believes race, gender, and class oppression exists because these groups of individuals do not have the correct tools in order to be successful like the white male population. Most people blame this system for our society’s problem, but people do not realize that they are apart of this society and this patriarchal system exists because of them. Our society depends on our population just like our population also depends on society. Although our society has many constraints, Johnson says, “If a society is oppressive, then people who grow up and live in it will tend to accept, identify with, and participate in it as ‘normal’ and unremarkable life” (Johnson 26). Johnson understands that all people depend on society and accepts it rewards and punishments.

            Johnson then goes on to discuss “The System”. To Johnson, “In general, a system is any collection of interrelated parts or elements that we can think of a as whole” (Johnson 26). Johnson discusses how our society can be considered a game and we are the players who participate in the game. This game has certain rules and patterns that all players use. Johnson points out how rare it is to see the players change the game of the rules. This relates to our society and the patriarchal system that is present. People in society do not want to “change the rules” or break social norms of society because they are afraid of the consequences that may arise afterward. Johnson says: “…individual change is often restricted to people who either have little to lose or who are secure and protected enough” (Johnson 28). Individuals do not want to participate in change unless they know they will not be affected afterward. People who are most likely to participate in standing up for a change in this system of patriarchy are the ones in either the weakest position or the strongest position.

            Johnson shows that in our society we normally associate men to be dominant and masculine while women are considered subordinate and feminine. Patriarchy normally goes unnoticed, unexamined, and not subject to change. Johnson discusses the differences between men and women. Women are expected to stay at home and take care of the children while men are working to support their families. There is a special importance placed on men’s careers and women’s lives at home and childcare. Johnson also talks about how men are strong and women are weak and need men in their lives so that they can be supported. Johnson ends the article discussing how in order to change this system of patriarchy we need to be better educated, have stronger communication skills, and to be conscious of individual’s attempt of transformation in society.

            I really enjoyed reading this article; I think that Johnson brought up some really good points about the society that we live in today. I really liked how this article was not biased towards men or women. I think Johnson point of view about the differences between men and women is very interesting. I do not think that some people understand the connection between women’s bodies and nature. Women are “more” connected to nature than men because of their natural abilities to bear and breast-feed children. I think it is really important that women are known are care givers but also known to be a part of and accepted in the work force in our society. I also strongly agree with Johnson when he says that in order to help solve some of these patriarchal problems we need to be educated about these issues and develop better communication skills. I think it is really important that society recognizes that these issues are real and we as a society needs to learn more about these issues in order to change them and make progress towards a more equal society.

            I am excited to discuss this article with the class. More specifically I want to know what the class thinks about Johnson argument about individual change. Whether individual change can only be subjected to people who have nothing to lose or people who are stable and protected enough.

            

About me!

Hi! My name is Waverly Hurd and I am from Darien, CT. I am currently a sophomore at St. Lawrence University majoring in Performance and Communicative Arts and double minoring in Gender and Sexuality Studies and also Sports Studies and Exercise Science.

I am a member of the sorority Delta Delta Delta.  I have an older brother, Dylan, who is a senior at the University of Michigan and who is graduating this spring. I also have a younger sister, Chelsea, who is a senior at Darien High School who plans to graduate this spring as well. I am really excited to take Gender and Communication because I really love learning about sex and gender. I also think communication is a major skill that most people over look. Being a PCA major I want to strengthen my communication skills. I also am excited to learn more about the connections between communications and gender studies.