Gendered Power and Violence

            In chapter 12, Gendered Power and Violence, in the book, Gendered Lives: Communication, Gender, and Culture, by Julia T. Wood, Wood discusses gendered and sexual violence, rape, partner violence, and sexual harassment. Wood defines sexual assault as, “…any sexual activity that occurs without the informed consent of at least one of the people involved” (Wood 255). Wood explains how sexual assault is especially present on college campuses across the country. Tons of women experience unwanted sexual interactions with others during their years at college. According to Wood, there is a “rape culture” present at colleges and universities. Some females feel that certain men have sexually violated them; but are constantly questioning themselves and wonder if they were “asking for it” with a sexy outfit. Wood refers to this as “…blaming the victim: holding a person responsible for the harm that another person has inflicted” (257).  Some tend to blame rape on women because of their outfits or because of the way they were acting or dancing. Revealing clothing can provoke men; some think it is an invitation for men to take advantage of women sexually.

            Wood also discusses rape culture that is currently present in the Congo and Rwanda. Women and men are victims of rape during times of war. Some may believe that sexual violence happens often because of war.  Although men are thought to protect women, in times of war, men are more likely to target women in order to assert and prove their dominance to others. Sexual violence is a form of communication between men. I think that men have a certain motive to rape women because it communicates victory and a sense of accomplishment to their enemies. Rape can be seen as a way for men to conquer women’s bodies. I also believe that males use rape to show and prove their masculinity to other male figures. In today’s society women are normally seen as sex objects; meaning that men tend to use women for their bodies in order to demonstrate hetero-nationality.

            Wood goes on to talk about intimate partner violence; which, “is physical, mental, emotional, verbal, or economic power used by one partner against the other partner in a romantic relationship” (260.) I think it is really hard to define and recognize partner violence. Some people make excuses for their intimate partners because of how much they love their partner even if their partner is emotionally or physically abusive. Wood argues that there are a lot of differences in the type of violence committed by men and women that can occur in different types of relationships. Men tend to use physical abuse to assert their dominance and gain self-esteem. On the other hand women can emotional abuse others and can manipulate social situations in order to hurt their partner. Although intimate relationships can be very rewarding, men and women need to be careful and realize the difference between a healthy and an unhealthy relationship.

            Another part of the chapter talks about how the media has normalized sexual violence. More specifically, Wood talks about pornography and how pornography often includes violence against women. This material normally includes men emotionally and physically dominating and degrading women. Women who participate in violent pornography are normally seen enjoying this type of pain. Violent pornography can lead to men believing that women actually enjoy being taken advantage of, degraded, and physically hurt while having sexual experiences. Men who are exposed to different forms of violent pornography are more likely to believe that it is okay to rape women. I think that the pornography industry is taking advantage of women and exploiting them for their own personal gain.

            I think this chapter is very interesting. One part of the chapter that really sparked a lot of emotion for me was about violent pornography. I have done a lot of background research already about violent and rape pornography and how these videos affect men, women, and younger children. I strongly believe that there is a relationship between porn and real violence against women. I believe that rape is used for men to communicate their dominance to women and other men. Some men want to emotionally and physically dominate a woman’s body for his own personal use.  Pornography can transforms a male who was not previously interested in the more abusive types of pornography into one who is turned on by such material. I think this is a major issue that needs to be addressed and explored. Is it safe for women to be participating in rape and violent pornography? Exposure to this type of porn can lead men to want to try some of the behaviors depicted.

            I want to ask the class if they think there is a relationship between porn and real violence against women. Do you think men who have had more exposure to sexual violent pornography videos are more likely to act out their sexual desires to rape a woman? More and more men and women believe that it is “okay” to engage in forceful sexual activities, do you think that the media has any influence on this belief?

Gendered Organizational Communication

            In chapter 10, Gendered Organizational Communication, of Gendered Lives: Communication, Gender, and Culture by Julia Wood, Wood discusses the cultural understandings of gender and communication. Wood starts of the chapter by arguing that there are social expectations that come with each gender and these social expectations influence how we behave, act, and treat others. In our society there are many stereotypes that we assume for men and women. Wood argues that women are categorized into four different roles, which reflect gendered stereotypes. These four roles are: sex object, mother, child and iron maiden. The first, sex object, relates women’s work to sex or their sexuality. In our society, there is a major focus on women’s bodies. Women are constantly being judged for their appearance and body image. Our culture tends to judge women’s work off of appearance. The second, mother, refers to a women’s caring nature. Society often believes that women should always take care of and support others. This stereotyped role also refers to a mother’s want to have children. Women in the work force are normally taken less seriously if they have children or plan to have children. The third stereotyped role, child, reflects a view of women as less knowledgeable and capable of certain jobs and that they should not be taken seriously in certain fields of work. Lastly, the iron maiden reflects a view of women that are independent and tough; these women are normally seen as unfeminine.

Wood goes on to discuss the three gendered stereotypes of men. These three stereotyped roles are: sturdy oak, fighter, and breadwinner. Wood says, “The sturdy oak is a self-sufficient pillar of strength who is never weak or reliant on others” (Wood 213). This role reflects the gendered stereotype that men are always emotionally strong and never need to be supported by others. The second role, fighter reflects how men are expected to act like “brave warriors” in society. This displays how men are expected to be aggressive and competitive at all times. The last stereotyped role, breadwinner, reflects how our society expects men to bring home more money than their wives and be the main supporter of their families.

An interesting part of the chapter is when Wood discusses and defines the glass ceiling and glass walls. Wood defines the glass ceiling, “as an invisible barrier that limits the advancements of women and minorities” (222). Wood argues that there is a subtle discrimination against women in the work place that prevents women and minorities from receiving a promotion or raise. Women are stereotyped to have children and start families. This leads men and others to believe that women cannot advance in their careers. Wood then defines the glass wall as, “a metaphor for sex segregation on the job, in which women are placed in ‘pink collar’ positions that require skills traditionally associated with women” (222). Both the glass ceiling and wall are subtly preventing women from acquiring certain jobs because of the stereotypes of women within our society. This discrimination makes it harder for women to get hired, get paid fairly, and receive promotions in the work force. Wood talks about efforts that have been made to change this discrimination against women and minorities. The two main examples in the chapter “are Title VII of the Civil Rights Act (1964), which prohibits discrimination in employment, and Title IX (1972), which forbids discrimination in educational programs that receive federal aid” (223-224). Although strives have been made in order to promote equal opportunities in the work place for men and women, women are still having difficulties being taken seriously in certain places of work.

I thought this chapter raised some very interesting arguments about gendered stereotypes of men and women and about equal opportunities in the work force. There are so many social expectations that come with each gender which affect how one acts in society. Personally I see the gendered stereotypes that Wood discussed in both of my parents. My mom is a real estate agent and a mother to three children. Before my mom had kids, she worked on Wall Street and I know that she had a hard time being taken seriously in that type of work place. On the other hand my dad has worked on Wall Street since he left college has had no trouble in the work place. I am not sure if my mom ever received a promotion on Wall Street but I know that my dad has received multiple promotions in different areas of work. I think this is interesting comparing my parents’ careers. I consider both my parents very successful, hard working people, but I do believe that my mom has had to work a little bit harder than my dad to be given respect and to be taken seriously.

I think it would be interesting to ask the class whether they see these gendered stereotypes in their parents as well. I know that in today’s society more women are starting to become the main breadwinner of families instead of men. Do my peers know any families in which the wife is the main breadwinner and the husband is the main care giver?

Gendered Close Relationships

            In chapter 9, Gendered Close Relationships, Julia Wood discusses how people develop and maintain relationships throughout their lives. Wood talks about the different forms of relationships and how male and female personal relationships differ from each other. Wood argues that men and women engage in different styles of friendships. Most women generally participate in a more feminine style while men participate in a more masculine style of friendship. In order to build close relationships women tend to, “…share their personal feelings, experiences, fears, and problems in order to be known by each others. In addition, women talk about their daily lives and activities to connect with one another” (Wood 189). When women develop friendships they need to connect with another person. Women also like to express their feelings with others in order to feel close to another person. Women’s relationships normally revolve around on dialogues, discussions, or communication with others. These characteristics of building relationships would be considered more feminine.

Wood goes on to talk about masculine styles of developing friendships. For the most part, male friendships revolve around a shared interest in activities, like sports. Whereas women are more likely to share feelings, men are more like to share space, according to Wood. A second characteristic of forming male friendships is helping others. Men like to help others that they care about. For example, men like exchange favors in order to build a friendship. A third characteristic of male friendships is, “typically indirect talk about serious feelings” (Wood 191). Most males do not want to show weakness when expressing their feelings to other men; so in order to comfortably express themselves they tend to “joke talk” about serious feelings. In order for men to communicate affection to others they normally show it by teasing others or engaging in friendly competitions. Wood explains how women’s relationships depend more on sharing feelings and communicating verbally with others, while men’s relationships depend more on sharing activities, exchanging favors with others, and communicating nonverbally with others.

Wood goes on to discuss the difficulties of developing friendships between males and females. Wood says, “Because out culture so heavily emphasizes gender, it is difficult for women and men not to see each other in sexual terms” (Wood 193). Although difficult, men and women still form friendships. Men normally value closeness with women because women provide emotional and expressive support for men. Women are more accepting of expressed emotions, therefore men respond very positively to friendships with women.

Wood explains the dynamic between heterosexual male and female romantic relationships. Men tend to look for women with an attractive appearance, who are small, slender, and sexy. While women look for men who are financially successful and powerful. These characteristics that men and women look for in each other directly reflect our cultural gender expectations. Wood also discusses the differences in men and women and how they express their affection for their romantic partners. Women want to share deep feelings and want to connect emotionally with their partners. While men share their affection through sexualized and spontaneous activities. Again, one can see how men normally express themselves nonverbally while women express themselves verbally towards others. Wood emphasizes the differences between men and women and how each gender expresses themselves differently towards others. Men and women’s relationships reflect our culture’s expectations of males and females and also display the traditional gender roles that are present within our society.

This chapter did a really good job explaining the differences between the personal relationships that men and women both develop. I thought it was really interesting when Wood explained how men tend to express themselves nonverbally while women express themselves verbally. While reading this chapter I noticed the differences in my own relationships with my females friends versus my relationships with my male friends. I am normally more comfortable with my female friends and tend to connect with them on an emotional level by communicating and sharing my feelings. I now notice that when I am with my male friends we are normally always joking around with each other rather than communicating our feelings with each other. I agree with Wood when she says it is hard for males and females to see each other in a nonsexual way in close relationships. I think friendships with the opposite sex are harder than friendships with the same sex.

I think it would be interesting to discuss with the class what gender their best friend is. My best friend is of the same sex as me and I would assume that most of the class’ closest relationships is of the same sex as them. I think it is easier to connect with females and tend to develop more personal relationships with females. Does the class agree with me? Do they think it is easier to connect and build a personal relationship with someone who shares the same sex as them? 

Gender in the Media

            In chapter 11, Gendered Media, Julia Wood discusses the influence that the media has on our society. Almost all Americans have a television in their home and are watching it constantly. As a society we are constantly bombarded with different forms of mass media. Wood argues that we rely on social media in order to connect with others and to know what is happening around the world. Media is known for emphasizing and encouraging gender-stereotypes of men and women. Media also tends to reflect the traditional views that are expected from men and women and teaches men and women to act and behave a certain way. Wood explains how media portrays men and women stereotypically. Wood says, “The majority of men on prime-time television are independent, strong, aggressive, and in charge. Television programming for all ages disproportionately depicts men, particularly white, heterosexual men, as serious, confident, competent, and powerful” (Wood 235). These characteristics of men show extreme masculinity and teach males that they need to act this way in order to properly show their maleness. The media normally portrays white males in a position of power, whether it be at home or in the work place. Media’s version of masculinity has dominated society and has created a social norm of masculinity. Wood also talks about how women are portrayed in the media. Wood says, “ Media show female characters shopping, grooming, being emotional, talking about and flirting with men, being sexual, and engaging in domestic activities” (Wood 236). Women in the media are normally portrayed with society’s traditional view of femininity. Media tends to portray women as sex objects for men.

Media definitely negatively effects women of all ages; making women believe that they should look a certain way in order to be considered beautiful. Wood goes on to explain the consequences that the media has on our society. Some consequences include creating an unrealistic image of beauty for men and women, normalizing violence against women, and bullying on different forms of social media. The media has had a major effect on our society and has created certain gendered-stereotypes that convince men and women to behave a certain way in order to portray their masculinity or femininity.

            In the article, The Princess and the Magic Kingdom: Beyond Nostalgia, the Function of the Disney Princess, by Rebecca- Anne C. Do Rozario, Rozario discusses the influence that the Disney princesses have our on society. Princess stories have been told for decades and have a major impact on how younger generations see themselves. Rozario argues that princess stories have created a beauty stereotype that young girls want to follow. Princess characters are constantly being shown on different forms of social media, bombarding young girls and boys with gender stereotypes. Rozario talks about Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937), Sleeping Beauty (1959), The Little Mermaid (1989), and Aladdin (1992). All of these films portray women participating in domestic activities or show women being saved by a male hero. Rozario says, “…the village storytellers produced princess who had to spin, wash, and mind the animals. These homely chores remained with the princess in the early Disney features” (Rozario 37). The way Disney films represent women has created a stereotype that is constantly shown to young girls and boys that women are suppose to cook and clean. Rozario argues that princesses are normally portrayed in a male dominated world and struggle to have their voices be heard.

            I really liked reading chapter 11, Gendered Media, and the article, The Princess and the Magic Kingdom: Beyond Nostalgia, the Function of the Disney Princess. Both readings explained how media has a strong influence over our society. I definitely believe that media has created a stereotype of males and females. Constantly watching, listening, and reading different forms of social media have normalized certain issues and also established social norms in which men and women are expected to uphold. Growing up reading and watching Disney’s princess movies has undeniably effected how I see women today. Sleeping Beauty (1959) was my favorite movie as a young girl; I wanted to be just like Aurora. I think Aurora created an unrealistic image of beauty that I dreamed of having. As a little girl I also craved a “prince charming” and believed that my prince would come along someday; we would get married and live happily ever after. Obviously I understand that Disney princess stories are unrealistic and unlikely. I think that Disney princess stories affect young girls to believe that girls cannot save themselves and need to be saved by a male hero.

            I think it would be interesting to discuss with the class how Disney princess films affected their childhood. If they ever watched any of the films or if their parents isolated from the gendered stereotypes seen in the films. Seeing as Disney princesses had such a huge influence on my life I wonder if they affected any other girls or boys in class. I also want to ask the class how media has affected their lifestyles and if media has ever made them act or behave in a certain way to prove their masculinity or femininity.

Learning Gendered Identities through our own Parents and Schools

            In chapter 7, Becoming Gendered: The Early Years, in the book Gendered Lives: Communication, Gender and Culture, Julia Wood discusses how parents are the primary influence for young children on developing gender identity.  As children grow up, they also recognize and establish their gender identities. Wood says that young boys mainly identify with their fathers and young girls mainly identify with their mothers. Boys and girls tend to develop their masculine or feminine identities through their mothers and fathers. Boys without a strong, masculine, adult male figure tend to lack certain characteristics to a boy who has strong male figure present. Younger boys tend to search for male role models in their lives in order to develop their masculine identification. Wood goes on to discuss parent’s communication of gender to their children. Wood says, “Typically, girls are rewarded for being cooperative, helpful, nurturing, and deferential…” (Wood 147). These characteristics that are taught to young girls follow the general stereotype of women in today’s society. Wood also says, “For boys, rewards are more likely to come for behaving competitively, independently, and assertively” (Wood 147). One can see how young children start to learn their gender identities and the differences between boys and girls from their parents. Parents teach their children their own view of gender stereotypes, which may differ from their children’s definition. Parents also are likely to communicate gender differences through toys and games. Parents may encourage young girls to play with dolls and kitchen sets; these toys encourage girls to assume a domestic role in society and may discourage girls from participating in aggressive sporting activities. It is the same for boys; parents encourage their boys to play aggressive and active games, leading to boys developing more dominance and independence over girls. Boys are expected to be tough and independent. As boys grow up, they are constantly told, “not to be a girl”; boys are told to “suck it up” and not to show feminine characteristics of weakness. Wood talks about how boys are expected to be successful, aggressive, sexual, and self-reliant. These characteristics teach boys to embody the traditional values of masculinity. On the other hand, girls focus more on their appearance and are expected to be sensitive and caring. Wood explains that today, society is starting to realize that there is not one definitive definition of masculinity or feminine. Some children grow up to challenge the traditional gender roles and today more people are starting to recognize the range of different gender identities.

            In chapter 8, Gendered Education: Communication in Schools, Wood discusses the difficulties of the gendered expectations that all students face in their school system. Wood argues that females are discouraged from studying math and science and men are encouraged and have more support to participate in school athletics.  Wood also examines the difficulties of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender students in school. Males and females recognize and develop their gender identities throughout school. Certain schools assume heterosexuality of their students, which makes it challenging for some students to express their gender identities. Most males and females are expected to express their masculinity and femininity a certain way in schools and society. For example males are expected to drink and engage in sexual activity and girls are expected to wear certain popular brands of clothing and focus their attention towards weight. The expectation to participate in these masculine and feminine activities teaches males and females to conform to the social views of gender. Males and females should be able to express their own gender identity, even if it does not follow the traditional values of masculinity and femininity.

            I think both chapter 7 and chapter 8 are really important to understand how people develop their own gender identity. People recognize and develop their gender identities through their families and through school. I grew up in a typical American family, with a father who worked in the city, a mother who stayed are home, and two siblings. I definitely believe that my family structure affected how I constructed my own gender identity. As a child I remember wanting to be like my mom. And in order to be like my mom I helped around the house and participated in domestic activities. My parents also helped develop my gender identity through the toys that I grew up playing with. Although my parents were very accepting of all gender values, traditional and nontraditional, my parents did encourage general male and female stereotypes through my brother’s toys and mine. As a kid, I remember playing with a Barbie dream house and Polly Pockets. My brother received gifts like Risk and toy helicopters which encouraged competition and active play. I think it is really hard for parents to not gender their children. But I do believe that parents should be accepting of all gender identities and should support their children however they please to express their gender.

            I think it would be interesting to discuss with the class what toys they received as kids, to see if their parents followed or challenged the gendered world that we live in. I would also like to ask the class what struggles they faced in high school expressing their gender identity. High school is a tough time for most males and females; there is a lot of pressure from parents, teachers, coaches, and other students to act a certain way.